Plain Jane Monologues

Invictus - William Ernest Henly

2012-01-19T09:12:00.000-08:00

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

To quote a good book...

2012-01-05T20:03:00.001-08:00

"It's the possibility of dreams coming true that makes life interesting."
-The Alchemist

No Man is an Island by Jack's Mannequin

2011-10-16T14:18:00.000-07:00

No man is an island
No man is a fool
When he finds himself a woman
And she helps him carry through
The days can leave you hungry
And the nights can leave you cold

No man is an island
When a woman's his to hold

Love can bring you riches
Love can give you pain
Love can dig you ditches
Get your wheels stuck in the rain
As long as your heart's beating It should never beat alone

No man is an island
When a woman is his home

I've been wandering the highway for days
Caught up in drunken displays
Love can be cruel
But I'm not an island I've got you

No man is an island
I've been wandering the highway for days
Caught up in drunken displays
Love can be cruel
But I'm not an island I've got you
No man is an island
And no man is a fool
When he finds himself a woman
And she helps carry him through
Sometimes he is weary
Sometimes he is lost

No man is an island
When a woman's what he's got
No man is an island
'Cause a woman's what he needs.

Moving...again

2011-08-30T09:13:00.001-07:00

7th time if 4 years...what a journey it has been.
I can't seem to stay settled.
Newest place of conquest...Ken and Doris Murphy's beautiful household.

First night staying there was last.
I felt unusually comfortable.
There is a possibility that I was completely exhausted
from lugging boxes and boxes and boxes.
I tell myself I have all this stuff
because I've been on my own for 4 years...
It really just comes down to the fact
that I've always had a lot of stuff.
Personality realization...check.

Key goal for this week...Don't rest for a second.
So much to do...so little time to do it.
Fresno this weekend for Alicia's wedding...
Homework, assignment, unpack, shopping,
homework, test, organize...somehow finish everything
by THURSDAY NIGHT.
It's already Tuesday.

Late To Work Today

2011-06-28T09:43:00.000-07:00

Late to work today
Managing to still be happy...
A simple smile
With it's irony...
Keeps my joy
At bay...

Listening to songs
Makes me drift as if I'm floating...
Let's my mind
Reflect on feelings...
The one I'm missing
Leaves me feeling far away...

Obligations impending
Pushing, pulling, straining...
Skipping through
As if life is simply to be lived...
What a beauty created
Being late to work today.

The Walrus and The Carpenter-Lewis Carroll

2011-06-15T09:52:00.000-07:00

The sun was shining on the sea,
Shining with all his might:
He did his very best to make
The billows smooth and bright--
And this was odd, because it was
The middle of the night.

The moon was shining sulkily,
Because she thought the sun
Had got no business to be there
After the day was done--
"It's very rude of him," she said,
"To come and spoil the fun!"

The sea was wet as wet could be,
The sands were dry as dry.
You could not see a cloud, because
No cloud was in the sky:
No birds were flying overhead--
There were no birds to fly.

The Walrus and the Carpenter
Were walking close at hand;
They wept like anything to see
Such quantities of sand:
"If this were only cleared away,"
They said, "it would be grand!"

"If seven maids with seven mops
Swept it for half a year.
Do you suppose," the Walrus said,
"That they could get it clear?"
"I doubt it," said the Carpenter,
And shed a bitter tear.

"O Oysters, come and walk with us!"
The Walrus did beseech.
"A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,
Along the briny beach:
We cannot do with more than four,
To give a hand to each."

The eldest Oyster looked at him,
But never a word he said:
The eldest Oyster winked his eye,
And shook his heavy head--
Meaning to say he did not choose
To leave the oyster-bed.

But four young Oysters hurried up,
All eager for the treat:
Their coats were brushed, their faces washed,
Their shoes were clean and neat--
And this was odd, because, you know,
They hadn't any feet.

Four other Oysters followed them,
And yet another four;
And thick and fast they came at last,
And more, and more, and more--
All hopping through the frothy waves,
And scrambling to the shore.

The Walrus and the Carpenter
Walked on a mile or so,
And then they rested on a rock
Conveniently low:
And all the little Oysters stood
And waited in a row.

"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings."

"But wait a bit," the Oysters cried,
"Before we have our chat;
For some of us are out of breath,
And all of us are fat!"
"No hurry!" said the Carpenter.
They thanked him much for that.

"A loaf of bread," the Walrus said,
"Is what we chiefly need:
Pepper and vinegar besides
Are very good indeed--
Now if you're ready, Oysters dear,
We can begin to feed."

"But not on us!" the Oysters cried,
Turning a little blue.
"After such kindness, that would be
A dismal thing to do!"
"The night is fine," the Walrus said.
"Do you admire the view?

"It was so kind of you to come!
And you are very nice!"
The Carpenter said nothing but
"Cut us another slice:
I wish you were not quite so deaf--
I've had to ask you twice!"

"It seems a shame," the Walrus said,
"To play them such a trick,
After we've brought them out so far,
And made them trot so quick!"
The Carpenter said nothing but
"The butter's spread too thick!"

"I weep for you," the Walrus said:
"I deeply sympathize."
With sobs and tears he sorted out
Those of the largest size,
Holding his pocket-handkerchief
Before his streaming eyes.

"O Oysters," said the Carpenter,
"You've had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting home again?'
But answer came there none--
And this was scarcely odd, because
They'd eaten every one.

Future Fears

2011-05-12T10:24:00.000-07:00

You can only fight so much what you're going to become.

2011-04-06T22:44:00.000-07:00

We can do no great things, only small things with great love.

2011-03-25T00:02:00.000-07:00

Never give up on the idea of what your life could look like.

Excerpt from Cat's Cradle

2011-03-24T23:17:00.000-07:00

Chapter 41: A Karass built for two

"They were, I think, a flawless example of what Bokonon calls a duprass, which is a karass composed of only two persons. 'A true duprass,' Bokonon telss us, 'can't be invaded, not even by children born of such a union'..."

"Bokonon tells us, incidentally, that members of a duprass always die within a week of each other. When it came time for the Mintons to die, they did it within the same second."

Drowsy Musings

2011-03-22T10:08:00.000-07:00

I slurp my coffee
Like a baby suckling a bottle

Brain…is…so…slow…

My occupation leaves me wanting
I am without talent

Brain…is…so…slow…

The clock ticks
Much louder that I can think

Brain…is…so…slow…

How many hours, days, years left
Of this jumbled mess?

Brain…is…so…slow…

Focus, focus, focus
On this life you’ve chosen

Brain…is…so…slow…

2010-09-07T13:11:00.000-07:00

It is always a better day with Yerba Mate.

2010-09-02T11:32:00.001-07:00

Take a glorious bite out of the whole world

An Excerpt from Lua by:Bright Eyes

2010-08-30T16:24:00.000-07:00

I got a flask inside my pocket, we can share it on the train
And if you promise to stay conscious I will try and do the same
We may die from medication, but we sure killed all the pain
But what was normal in the evening by the morning seems insane

And I'm not sure what the trouble was that started all of this
The reasons all have run away, but the feeling never didIt's not something I would recommend, but it is one way to live
'Cause what is simple in the moonlight by the morning never is

And what's so simple in the moonlight now it's so complicated
And what's so simple in the moonlight, so simple in the moonlight
So simple in the moonlight

Quote

2010-08-30T13:17:00.000-07:00

"Drink a cup of tea and forget the cares of the world." T'ien Yiheng

Note To Self

2010-08-26T12:56:00.000-07:00

Iced peppermint tea is not as refreshing as it would seem to be. Minty freshness + icy coldness = overpowering mouth mint freeze. My original thought was that drinking iced peppermint tea would be similar to jumping into a swimming pool on a sweltering hot summer day...little did I know that it is more comparable to swimming in Lake Michigan in January (that is if Lake Michigan were minty). Note to self: Avoid this mixture at all costs.

2010-08-03T15:22:00.000-07:00

I let poetry pour over me like a cold sea and I am refreshed. Reborn in my day.

Words flow in me like blood in my veins. Without circulation I would not exist.

A breathe taking verse, a free flowing string of beautifully constructed prose.

These are the true loves of my life.

For No One -by The Beatles

2010-07-28T11:38:00.000-07:00

Your day breaks, your mind aches
You find that all her words
Of kindness linger on
When she no longer needs you

She wakes up, she makes up
She takes her time and doesn't
Feel she has to hurry
She no longer needs you

And in her eyes, you see nothing
No sign of love behind the tears
Cried for no one
A love that should have lasted years

You want her, you need her
And yet you don't believe her
When she says her love is dead
You think she needs you

And in her eyes, you see nothing
No sign of love behind the tears
Cried for no one
A love that should have lasted years

You stay home, she goes out
She says that long ago she knew someone
But now he's gone
She doesn't need him

Your day breaks, your mind aches
There will be times when all the things
She said will fill your head
You won't forget her

And in her eyes, you see nothing
No sign of love behind the tears
Cried for no one
A love that should have lasted years

Only In The Past -by The Be Good Tanyas

2010-07-27T11:56:00.000-07:00

Run away to the seashore
It doesn't matter anymore
It doesn't matter anymore

Words dry up and fly away
With the passing of the days
Eventually you just let the stone fall

I dreamed that I saw you
You were down at the corner store
You were looking through magazines
And you flew out the door

I was trying to wave to you
But you wouldn't wave back
Now you know I understand
You're with me only in the past

My palms are not open
They're closed, they're closed

Colors streak the sky
We laugh and we cry
And we dance in the cool grass
With the fireflies

We dance in the cool grass
Sunset birds
Sweet, sweet music
Swallow our words

You set sail and you left this town
Run away, run away
You're so far from me now
So far from me now

Run away to the seashore
It doesn't matter anymore
It doesn't matter anymore

I dreamed that I saw you
You were down at the corner store

Word of the Day

2010-07-21T15:36:00.000-07:00

demagogue n: a leader who appeals to people's emotions and prejudices in order to gain power.

The demagogue's misleading rhetoric was clearly making an impact on his countrymen, who cheered and applauded his demands.

You Said It Will Be Easy

2010-07-20T10:21:00.000-07:00

An antiquated love song
I beg to hear
Pathetically empty feelings long
To hold one so dear

You said it will be easy
You said baby, come on
You said it will be easy
You said much, but you were wrong

What a struggle to feel
Excitement from a single touch...
A silent agreement, a deal,
I pretend and you believe thus

You said it will be easy
You said let's try to reach
You said it will be easy
You sucked with ferver as if a leech

Unfortunate ending
To a nights embrace
The fibers of me still mending
When you left without a trace

Word of the Day

2010-07-13T13:05:00.000-07:00

flummox v: to confuse

The marketing department decided to dump the new TV commercial after learning that many people in the test group were flummoxed about what it was advertising.

My Birthplace

2010-07-03T14:24:00.000-07:00

Moisture envelopes the air.
Sweat condensing
on my brow.

Short jogs
Flirting with fatigue-
Altitude can overwhelm.

Histories evolving
in-front of me.
Leaving me in awe...

My other family;
the secret side;
the peaceful side.

My own escape
to my birthplace.
Where I feel alive.

DIG by Incubus

2010-06-30T09:12:00.000-07:00

We all have a weakness
Some of ours are easier to identify
Look me in the eye

And ask for forgiveness
We'll make a pact to never speak
That word again, yes, you are my friend

We all have something that digs at us
At least we dig each other

So when weakness turns my ego up
I know you'll count on the me from yesterday

If I turn into another
Dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me
Sing this song
Remind me that we'll always have each other
When everything else is gone

We all have a sickness
That cleverly attaches and multiplies
No matter how we try

We all have someone that digs at us
At least we dig each other

So when sickness turns my ego up
I know you'll act as a clever medicine

If I turn into another
Dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me

Sing this song
Remind me that we'll always have each other
When everything else is gone
Oh, each other when everything else is gone

If I turn into another
Dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me

Sing this song
Remind me that we'll always have each other
When everything else is gone
Oh, each other, sing this song, when everything else is gone
Oh, each other, when everything else is gone

Word of the Day

2010-06-29T13:09:00.000-07:00

proliferate v: to grow or increase in number rapidly

"As low rates proliferated, lenders fell over themselves to stuff cash in customers' pockets"---Daniel Gross, Newsweek, August 20/27, 2007

2010-06-29T09:15:00.001-07:00

The hustle and bustle of yesterday pushed me to the edge of giddiness. It's the end of the month and customers will often come into the office and act as if they own the place. Commanding, demanding anything and everything under the sun...Helloooo I am only one person.

That aside...I ditched my weekly game of softball with the girls due to a request from my boss to head back into Vegas; I work even when I'm not at work. I wish that entailed a bonus of some sort. I suppose I'm attempting to collect kudos which usually requires ass kissing and acting like a scared little puppy. One day I'll be on top; I'll be wealthy; I'll be respected...at least I damn well better be after putting in my allotted time of groveling.

I'm finally into my groove at the gym again. Going during my lunch break isn't the most ideal situation, however it's what seems to work best. I miss the days of being able to go to the gym for a minimum of two hours and lifting like a mad woman and not having to rush through my cardio and other routines. If I ever bring myself to move back to Pahrump the situation of going to the gym for house a day would be much more viable.

Mmk, so after work and doing the bidding for my master yesterday, I decided to go for a bike ride. A BIKE RIDE! I forgot how thoroughly enjoyable, relaxing, and therapeutic going for an hour long ride can be. I need to live in a place where it's more normal to ride everywhere you go. I was so proud of myself; I even rigged by bike with a basket which makes bringing goodies along for the ride much easier.
I truly would ride my bike EVERYWHERE when I lived in Michigan. It was such a normal thing there. I would ride to the beach, to Kate's house, Starbucks (against my mother's will of course She was infuriated when she found out I had been secretly sipping sinful coffee without her knowledge. I believe she was worried about me stunting my growth, or me starting to worshiping the coffee god and thus damning my soul to hell, or something ridiculous of that nature. Ah the joys in defying authority)...I digress. I think I'm going to start going on rides more often. It awakened a secret joy inside me that I have left dormant for too many years.
If I go riding again I think I'm going to bring my camera with me, thus pictures will be posted.

After my bike ride, I ate a delicious salad that I had picked up from Whole Foods earlier. Going into Whole Foods always arouses a desire in me to run a marathon or do something healthy that will somehow change the world. Bravo to the Whole Foods marketing team for instilling such a sense of wonder upon entrance to their...well, essentially it is simply a "super market";perhaps this market has "super powers". They should change the name to Whole Foods Super Power Market...I always feel super when I leave that place.

Ciao

Word of the Day

2010-06-24T09:12:00.000-07:00

peripeteia n: a sudden or unexpected reversal of circumstance or situation especially in literary work

The novel is populated by a number of secondary characters, each of whom plays a crucial role in the protagonist's peripeteia.

Word of the Day

2010-06-23T14:45:00.000-07:00

brusque adj 1: markedly short and abrupt 2. blunt in manner or speech often to the point of ungracious harshness

*On her first day of work, Diana's new boss gave her only a brusque greeting before showing her the place where she would be working.

World At Large-Modest Mouse

2010-06-22T11:53:00.000-07:00

Ice-age heat, wave can't complain
If the world's at large, why should I remain?
Walked away to another plane
Gonna find another place, maybe one I can stand

I move on to another day
To a whole new town with a whole new way
Went to the porch to have a thought
Got to the door and again, I couldn't stop

You don't know where and you don't know when
But you still got your words and you got your friends
Walk along to another day
Work a little harder, work another way

Well uh uh baby I ain't got no plan
We'll float on maybe would you understand?
Gonna float on maybe would you understand?
We'll float on maybe would you understand?

The days get shorter and the nights get cold
I like the autumn but this place is getting old
I pack up my belongings and I head for the coast
It might not be a lot but I feel like I'm making the most

The days get longer and the nights smell green
I guess it's not surprising but it's spring and I should leave

I like songs about drifters, books about the same
They both seem to make me feel a little less insane
Walked on off to another spot
I still haven't gotten anywhere that I want

Did I want love? Did I need to know?
Why does it always feel like I'm caught in an undertow?

The moths beat themselves to death against the lights
Adding their breeze to the summer nights
Outside, water like air was great
I didn't know what I had that day

Walk a little farther to another plane
You said that you did, but you didn't understand

I know that starting over is not what life's about
But my thoughts were so loud, I couldn't hear my mouth
My thoughts were so loud, I couldn't hear my mouth
My thoughts were so loud

Word of the Day

2010-06-21T16:45:00.000-07:00

hegira n: a journey especially when undertaken to escape from a dangerous or undesirable situation: exodus

"The hegira was one of hunger, thirst, danger, pain, and betrayal that extended over a month and 200 miles." ---Curtis Hooper O'Sullivan , Air Power History, June 22, 2008

An Excerpt from White Houses by Vanessa Carlton

2010-06-14T14:46:00.000-07:00

It's alright and I put myself in his hands
But I hold on to secrets in white houses
Love, or something ignites in my veins
And I pray it never fades in white houses

My first time, hard to explain
Rush of blood, oh, and a little bit of pain
On a cloudy day, it's more common than you think
He's my first mistake

Maybe you were all faster than me
We gave each other up so easily
These silly little wounds will never mend
I feel so far from where I've been

So I go, and I will not be back here again
I'm gone as the day is fading on white houses
I lie, put my injuries all in the dust
In my heart is the five of us in white houses

And you, maybe you'll remember me
What I gave is yours to keep in white houses
In white houses
In white houses

Almost Lover - A Fine Frenzy

2010-06-10T16:01:00.000-07:00

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind, images
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes, clever trick

Well, I’d never want to see you unhappy
I thought you’d want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me in the shade
And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you would never ever forget these images, no

Well, I’d never want to see you unhappy
I thought you’d want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot try the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind

So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy to walk
Right in and out of my life?

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Why can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

Word of the Day

2010-06-01T10:09:00.000-07:00

afflatus n: a divine imparting of knowledge or power: inspiration

Gus insists that his musical compositions are the result not of afflatus but of years of study and hard work

Excerpts from Wuthering Heights

2010-05-31T00:15:00.000-07:00

"Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same..."

"If all else perished and he, remained, I should still continue to be, and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger."

"Your bliss lies in inflicting misery."

"I'll try to break their hearts by breaking my own."

Word of the Day

2010-05-27T12:46:00.000-07:00

jejune adj 1: lacking nutritive value *2: devoid of significance or interest: dull 3: juvenile, puerile

*The debate between the two candidates was uninformative and jejune, giving the audience no new insight on their stances on the important issues.

Santa Barbara

2010-05-25T01:07:00.000-07:00

Wasteland- by Augustana

2010-05-24T15:35:00.000-07:00

Now I'm sitting on a plane, lonely flight back to LA
Don't come back with me
So I'll drink myself to sleep, cut my skin until I bleed
Hold my breath all the night

Cause it's 5 o'clock, the hour stops the sunlight
And the buildings shade the masquerade and kill time

Hear the sound, she was naked on the ground
Till I whispered in her ear
Come away, watch the dawn break through the day
Till the sun is underneath

Cause it's 5 o'clock, the hour stops the sunlight
And the buildings shade the masquerade and kill time
Here we're nothing more than fools and whores and sad highs
Through the summer sand, we're living in a wasteland

It's a wasteland...
It's a wasteland...
It's a wasteland...
For me...

We're nothing more than fools and whores and sad highs
Through the summer sand, we're living in a wasteland

We're nothing more than fools and whores and sad highs
Through the summer sand, we're living in a wasteland

It's a wasteland...
It's a wasteland...
It's a wasteland...
For me...
For me

Word of the Day

2010-05-24T10:18:00.000-07:00

erumpent adj: bursting forth

Amid the dull noise of the crowd was heard an erumpent voice calling out, "Make way for the queen!"

Word of the Day

2010-05-20T10:03:00.001-07:00

innocuous adj 1: producing no injury: harmless *2: not likely to give offense or to arouse strong feelings or hostility: inoffensive or insipid

Harry insisted that the cartoon he drew of Professor Chase for the school newspaper was innocuous and only meant in good fun.

2010-05-20T08:40:00.000-07:00

Santa Barbara is in my near future. I planned a trip for this weekend with the sole purpose of escape. It's been far too long since I've left the dear state of Nevada and I think the drive to the coast will be refreshing. I invited Casey, Jeff, and Wes but that doesn't mean any of them will be joining me, yet I don't think I would mind the trip all by my lonesome.
I absolutely plan on going to the beach and the weather forecast is said to be sunny and 70! I'll hit up the down town for some shopping and hopefully get a taste of the SB night life. I know a couple of girls who go to school out there so hopefully we will be able to meet up. I feel like being rambunctious and I don't plan on being disappointed.

On a side note, I got my first speeding ticket yesterday...rather unfortunate. I still need to call and find out how much it is going to cost me; hopefully not an arm and a leg.

Last night I went to see Minus the Bear. The show was more amazing than I had expected and those guys really put on a good show. This, of course, could have been influenced by the amount of gin in my system but I still maintain that I was sober enough to stand up and thus could groove to some slammin' music!

An excerpt from Summer Angel-Minus the Bear
"Poppies swayed while she spun on how she fell in love.
When in Rome, c'est la vie, when over seas; however you want.
We leaned closer and she finally threw me the life raft;
She pulled me in and kept me right until the night left."

Work is slow today so I feel free to write...this post is becoming lengthy as a result.
Here are more lyrics because I'm totally into Minus the Bear right now...

Double Vision Quest

Caught in the locked groove of this long season
These hours motions circle, still repeating
The beat moves on itself
The beat moves on itself

Everyday my love
Crazy, crazy days are gone
When I come home
And we're finally alone

I'm caught in your arms safe from a morning
No one walks out on the tightrope today my love
The beat moves on itself
The beat moves on itself

Everyday my love
Crazy, crazy days are gone
When I come home
Crazy, crazy days are gone
When I come home

We awoke at the edge of a summer
New days began to stretch their legs
And the tempo's changing the compliancy
The needle finds the groove to free us tonight

We awoke on the edge of this winter
The ice melts off and flows in like a song
The record plays but the needles old
It lets the player take control

Move the speakers how they're told
To make us march for something more
Music is a sedative
And you put out what you put in

Word of the Day

2010-05-18T16:20:00.000-07:00

egregious-adj: conspicuous; especially: conspicuously bad

"Fashionistas eyed one another and mentally cataloged and egregious faux pas of their peers, such as wearing things so clearly 'last year'."
---Shelley Preston, The Ledger, September 20, 2004

This made me so happy...

2010-05-14T16:51:00.000-07:00

Rufio: Boil-dripping, beef, fart-sniffing bubble butt!
Kids: Bangarang, Rufio!
Peter Banning: Someone has a severe ca-ca mouth, you know that?
Rufio: You are a fart factory, Slug-slimed, sack-of-rat-guts-in-cat-vomit, cheesy, scab-picked, pimple-squeezing finger bandage. A week old maggot burger with everything on it and flies on the side!
Kids: [in unison] Ugh!
Peter Banning: Substitute chemistry teacher.
Lost Boy: Come on, Rufio, hit him back.
Rufio: Mung tongue.
Peter Banning: Math tutor.
Rufio: Pinhead.
Peter Banning: Prison barber.
Rufio: Mother lover.
Peter Banning: Nearsighted gynecologist.
Rufio: In your face, camel cake!
Peter Banning: In your rear, cow derrière.
Rufio: Lying, crying, spying, prying ultra-pig.
Peter Banning: You lewd, crude, rude, bag of pre-chewed food dude.
Thud Butt: [with the rest of the Lost Boys] Bangarang, Peter!
Rufio: You... you man! Stupid, stupid man!
Peter Banning: Rufio, if I'm a maggot burger why don't you eat me! You two-toned zebra-headed, slime-coated, pimple-farmin' paramecium brain, munchin' on your own mucus, suffering from Peter Pan envy!
Don't Ask: What's a paramecium brain?
Peter Banning: I'll tell you what a paramecium is! That's the paramecium! It's a one-celled critter with no brain, that can't fly! Don't mess with me man, I'm a lawyer!
Kids: [chanting] Banning, Banning, Banning is bangerang.
Rufio: Rufio! Rufio!
Peter Banning: Oh, Rufio, why don't you just go suck on a dead dog's nose.

Word of the Day

2010-05-12T09:00:00.000-07:00

impecunious adj: having very little or no money usually habitually: penniless

Unable to afford his own books, my impecunious uncle usually ends up borrowing mine and failing to return them.

T.S. Eliot continued...

2010-05-11T14:32:00.000-07:00

"poetry is not a turning loose of emotion, but an escape from emotion; it is not the expression of personality, but an escape from personality."

It is incredible how this completely encompasses my writing as of late. The only thing I want to do is escape my emotions and personality...so I write. I write to be loosed from the things that bind. I write to be separate. I write to be free!

La Figlia Che Piange (the weeping girl) -T.S. Eliot

2010-05-11T13:12:00.000-07:00

Stand on the highest pavement of the stair --
Lean on a garden urn --
Weave, weave the sunlight in your hair --
Clasp your flowers to you with a pained surprise --
Fling them to the ground and turn
With a fugitive resentment in your eyes:
But weave, weave the sunlight in your hair.

So I would have had him leave,
So I would have had her stand and grieve,
So he would have left
As the soul leaves the body torn and bruised,
As the mind deserts the body it has used.
I should find
Some way incomparably light and deft,
Some way we both should understand,
Simple and faithless as a smile and a shake of the hand.

She turned away, but with the autumn weather
Compelled my imagination many days,
Many days and many hours:
Her hair over her arms and her arms full of flowers.
And I wonder how they should have been together!
I should have lost a gesture and a pose.
Sometimes these cogitations still amaze
The troubled midnight, and the noon's repose.

The Patterns of Me

2010-05-11T08:14:00.000-07:00

It is almost uncanny how I allow myself to fall in and out of patterns. I exhaust myself with indecision. I so easily come undone. I truly suffer from loneliness and it is completely self-inflicted. Such irony.

I miss things that I once despised. I build such high walls that I'm unable to see the other side. I'm a frightened child who's only desire is to fall with tear filled eyes into mommy's arms. Such sensitivity.

I ache to be loved but shun it at the drop of a hat. I desire to be a woman of grace but participate in lewd behavior that reflects no such respect on my personality. I crave respect but never seem to give it in return. Such failure.

Word of the Day

2010-05-10T09:00:00.000-07:00

kingmaker n: one having great influence over the choice of candidates for political office

The businesspeople contributing copious amounts of money to his campaign will be the kingmakers if he goes on to win the election.

Soaking up some Sylvia

2010-05-10T01:14:00.000-07:00

"I have the choice of being constantly active and happy or introspectively passive and sad. Or I can go mad by ricocheting in between."

"Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything it is because we are dangerously near wanting nothing."

"Remember, remember, this is now, and now, and now. Live it, feel it, cling to it. I want to become acutely aware of all I've taken for granted."

"I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart. I am. I am. I am."

~Sylvia Plath

2010-05-10T00:44:00.001-07:00

I hate to dwell on the past, but lately it just seems to keep bubbling up within me. I've been in a state of negative nostalgia for the past several days and the only thing I can do to keep it from taking me over is to stay distracted. This leads me to wonder whether or not my current friends are starting to tire of my constant need to hold their company (I can't stand to be in my own company anymore so I don't know why anyone else would). I've already driven away one. I hadn't even realized that I was choking out the small bud of friendship that we had started but now it's gone and I'm not sure how or whether I should even try to plant another seed.

My imperfections as a person have been an overwhelming burden to carry around, dwell on, and attempt to correct. I feel as though it's tax season for my personality and I haven't kept all of my receipts in order. I'm buried in the disorganization of myself. Where shall I even begin?

Perhaps I should start school again early, instead of waiting until the fall semester to begin. After seeing several of my friends graduate, including my brother, this spring the pressure of finishing my degree has once again surfaced. The plan was to take this summer off in order to get my priorities straight but after everything that's happened I feel as though my priorities are no where closer to a healthy place than they were before...it's May already for Christ's sake.
I haven't done any traveling, I haven't reorganized my life, I haven't decided whether I actually want to continue with my business degree or not, I haven't built any healthy relationships, and I most certainly have not been any happier than I was before.

I've lost my ability to feel.

I've lost Matt...completely

I've lost Casey...completely

I've almost lost Angela

I've lost interest in so many things that I once loved

I've lost interest in bettering myself

I've lost my passion

I've lost my talent

I've lost my standards

I've lost everything

An Ironic Statement

2010-05-07T10:07:00.000-07:00

"Sometimes I wish I was in a relationship just so songs could mean something personal to me." ~John Mauhler June 27, 2007

Your Latest Game

2010-05-07T08:19:00.000-07:00

Not saying what you mean
Unable to find a place
where truth is found

Misleading for no reason
To gain reaction
To build hate

Forced to keep up
or be left behind
the times and your latest game

Wishing for misfortune
for a downfall that kills
that rips you open, left broken

Pain-filled pills
will no longer fullful
the emptiness from which you run

You will be entraped
You will be without
You will be alone

Word of the Day

2010-05-06T09:49:00.000-07:00

minatory adj: having a menacing quality: threatening

Billy wanted to climb the fence into the neighbor's yard to retrieve his ball, but he was dissuaded by the minatory glare or the neighbor's dog.

A little love from my Mom

2010-05-05T13:21:00.000-07:00

Finish each day and be done with it
You have done what you could
Some blunders and absurdities have crept in
Forget them as soon as you can
Tomorrow is a new day
You can begin it serenely and with too high a spirit
To be encumbered with your old nonsense
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Word of the Day

2010-05-05T09:07:00.000-07:00

bona fides n 1: good faith: sincerity 2: evidence of one's good faith or genuineness 3: evidence of one's qualifications or achievements

If you still have doubts about Rob's bona fides as a lawyer, you should hear all the good things his past clients have said about him.

2010-05-04T08:00:00.001-07:00

It is quite a shock to wake up one morning and realize that you hate every aspect of who you are as a person.
After a slap in the face from someone who has shown you what you really look like in the mirror as opposed to how you've been viewing yourself for many months on end is no painless task.
It's a battle, it's dirty, filthy war and it seems there will be no getting out of this one.
The unfortunate feeling of betrayal...you've been lying to yourself again and it was bad...so bad.

Lying to yourself most definitely causes you to lie to everyone around you.
It's hurtful, without a doubt, and in the search for finding who you've really become, those closest to you are often trampled under your weight of lies and deceit.

I'm still trying to find the truth about myself and feel like it is the longest journey...it's as though I've been on this road forever and there's no end in sight.
My lies have trampled countless people
My insecurities have driven them away
My needs will always be left unmet
My desires will never be satiated
My heart will remain broken
My true self will never reach the surface

Yet again I'm drowning in the pool of depression I create for myself.
I can't breath, I can't eat, I can't sleep...
and to what end?
What will be my end?

Word of the Day

2010-04-30T09:13:00.000-07:00

addiction n 1: being abnormally tolerant to and dependent on something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming 2:an abnormally strong craving

The young man wasn't able to deny his addiction after his cravings for drugs became overwhelmingly painful.

Word of the Day

2010-04-28T09:24:00.000-07:00

frisson n: a brief moment of emotional excitement: shudder or thrill

The emotionally charged scene adds a frisson of tension to the play's final act.

New Apartment

2010-04-28T09:08:00.000-07:00

Moving was stressful to say the least. I hope that I won't have to do it again anytime soon although I think a certain someone has different plans in regards to that subject. I personally don't want to move again in three months; this is mainly due to that massive amounts of furniture that I own. Maybe I should start separating myself from all of my material items and thus become some sort of vagabond and live out of my car...it could be a viable option and a much less expensive style of living.

It was unfortunate having to come back to work after my long weekend. Rachel was passionate in her effort to punish me for taking a few days off...which obviously made her life too stressful to bare (Grrrr). My frustration with her grows on a daily basis. Hopefully she'll realize that she needs to start acting like an adult...considering she's almost 40...

I think I need to go out of town for a while. Pahrump/Vegas are starting to wear me down. This weekend I get to go to Utah for Dan's graduation from SUU so that should be a slight relief. I'm hoping for nice weather and good company.
Otherwise, California has been on my mind. I could use a long weekend on the beach. Now if only my friends wouldn't be such flakes.

I'll be posting pictures of the new house as soon as I get a little more organized...as of right now it looks like a tornado rolled through that place. To tell the truth, I am slowly becoming overwhelmed at the thought of having to organize all of it again...if only I could throw a little bippity boppity boo into the mix so I wouldn't have to work so hard. Back to my main point...I hate moving with my entire heart.

2010-04-22T12:41:00.000-07:00

For a relationship to stay alive, love alone is not enough. Without imagination, love stales into sentiment, duty, boredom. Relationships fail not because we have stopped loving but because we first stopped imagining.
~James Hillman

This is interesting...http://gillgirl12.xanga.com/oh my old blog in high school...I seemed to only be able to write about loneliness and the next time I was going back to Michigan. I'm glad my writing has grown in it's subject matter at least slightly. There are some pretty good pictures on there though so take a peek.

Excerpt from All Hail the Heartbreaker-Spill Canvas

2010-04-22T10:44:00.000-07:00

I will sleep another day
I don't really need to anyway
What's the point when my dreams are infected
With words you used to say
I will breathe in a moment
As long as I keep my distance
I wouldn't want to go messing anything up

So don't go worrying about me
It's not like I think about you constantly
So maybe I do, but that shouldn't affect
Your life anymore
I knew it the moment you walked into the door

The Runaways

2010-04-20T14:39:00.000-07:00

Leaving life behind
with no tying thread
in sight

The runaways ravish
their own ambitions;
their own ability to fly

Separate from American
society they break
free from all familiarity

No notification is ideal
No realization is better
No contact is perfection

To completely disappear
from the lives they live
The runaways pursue desire

Word of the Day

2010-04-20T14:37:00.000-07:00

cacography n 1: bad spelling 2: bad handwriting

The letter was marred by cacography and poor punctuation among other flaws.

Word(s) of the Day

2010-04-16T15:22:00.000-07:00

1. immure v a1:to enclose within or as if within walls b:to imprison 2: to build into a wall; especially: to entomb in a wall

The princess was immured in the tower, waiting for the prince to rescue her.

2. garrulous adj 1. pointlessly or annoyingly talkative 2. wordy

The Carters' garrulous young babysitter rattled off every detail of her evening before finally delivering their phone messages.
This is also the definition of one of my coworkers...I plan on using this word often and thoroughly.

Word of the Day

2010-04-14T09:47:00.000-07:00

attitudinize v: to assume an affected mental attitude: pose

She kept her position; she seemed absorbed in the view. "Is she posing is she attitudinizing for my benefit?" Longueville asked of himself.
---Henry James, Confidence

1 2 3

2010-04-14T08:44:00.000-07:00

1. Frustration swells
to burst at any moment
With no outlet
to satiate the pressure
There's no relief
in my blinded sight

2. Communication's lost
on the small minded
Too worried about
the problems they create
Not realizing their
negative the affect

3. Life changes
whether we say
yes or no
The flood of ambiguity
overwhelms and pulls
my mind like a drowning soul

Word of the Day

2010-04-13T08:35:00.000-07:00

flout v: 1: to treat with contemptuous disregard:scorn 2: to indulge in scornful behavior

The Department of Labor cracked down on businesses that flouted the child labor laws.

The Realm of Feeling Free

2010-04-13T08:06:00.000-07:00

Cigarettes for breakfast
lunch and dinner
She knows the risk.
Death on a stick,
But the smooth drawl
has its intriguing appeal...

The lightheaded breathe
becomes a distraction
from what's real
And the lingering
scent is a reminder
of what's familiar...

It's completely personal
Nothing for them to see,
to judge, to scream their opinion.
An escape, a simple flight
into the realm of feeling free...

Word of the Day

2010-04-12T10:10:00.000-07:00

myrmidon n: a loyal follower; I especially: a subordinate who executes orders unquestioningly or unscrupulously

Our former boss was more likely to offer promotions to her myrmidons that to those workers who occasionally question her tactics or proposed alternate solutions.

Drugs or Me-Jimmy Eat World

2010-04-12T09:06:00.000-07:00

Stay with me
You're the one that I need
You make the hardest things
Seem easy

Keep my heart
Somewhere drugs don't go
Were the sun shines lay
Always keep me close

If only you could see
The stranger next to me
You promised you promised that you're done
But I can't tell you from the drugs

Don't let go
Dig a great bit hole
Down an endless hole
We'll both go

You're so blind
You can't see me this time
Hope comes from inside
And I feel so low tonight

If only you could see
The stranger next to me
You promised you promised that you're done
But I can't tell you from the drugs

I wish you could see
This face in front of me
You're sorry swear it you're done
But I can't tell you from the drugs

(Ohhhh)
(Ohhhh)

(take me) I need your help
(so far away) To pull me up take the pain
(take me) Out from me
(so far away) Out from me

(Take me) If only you could see (I need your help)
(So far away) The stranger next to me (To pull me up take the pain)
(Take me) You promised you promised that you're done (Out from me)
(So far away) But I can't tell you from the drugs (Out from me)

(Take me) I wish that you could see (I need your help)
(So far away) This face in front of me (To pull me up take the pain)
(Take me) You're sorry you swear it you're done (Out from me)
(So far away) But I can't tell you from the drugs (Out from me)

Keep my heart
somewhere drugs don't go
Where the sun shines low
always keep me close

Word of the Day

2010-04-08T13:09:00.000-07:00

Hobson's choice: n an apparently free choice when there is no real alternative

Reportedly, Model T manufacturer Henry Ford once offered this Hobson's choice: "Any customer can have a car painted any color that he wants so long as it is black."

The Endless Night

2010-04-08T08:42:00.000-07:00

Cigarette
burning at its blackend tip

Casino
bustling with sinful commotion

Cards
waiting for the Jack and Ace

Coins
clink* clink* jingle*

Chips
waxing and waning with each hand

Coctails
burdenous to their servers

Consciousness
or lack there of

Coffee
recovery from the endless night

In Regards to thoughts about the TRUTH

2010-04-07T16:46:00.000-07:00

I realize that I have been abusing my posting priviledges today, but my mind has been in a whirl, while at the same time work has been delightfully dull.

A friend said "tell me something true", and to my dismay I could hardly come close to confessing something profound.
For some time now I have avoided truth in its every form-
pushing it to the back of my mind in order to fight the overwhelming aspect of fear and ambiguity that the truth often entails.

I feel as if I could write so much more about this...but I'll pause and let Walt Whitman do a little bit of the talking...

O ME, man of slack faith so long!
Standing aloof—denying portions so long;
Only aware to-day of compact, all-diffused truth;
Discovering to-day there is no lie, or form of lie, and can be none, but grows as
inevitably
upon
itself as the truth does upon itself,
Or as any law of the earth, or any natural production of the earth does.

(This is curious, and may not be realized immediately—But it must be realized;
I feel in myself that I represent falsehoods equally with the rest,
And that the universe does.)

Where has fail’d a perfect return, indifferent of lies or the truth?
Is it upon the ground, or in water or fire? or in the spirit of man? or in the meat and
blood?

Meditating among liars, and retreating sternly into myself, I see that there are really no
liars or
lies after all,
And that nothing fails its perfect return—And that what are called lies are perfect
returns,
And that each thing exactly represents itself, and what has preceded it,
And that the truth includes all, and is compact, just as much as space is compact,
And that there is no flaw or vacuum in the amount of the truth—but that all is truth
without
exception;
And henceforth I will go celebrate anything I see or am,
And sing and laugh, and deny nothing.

ALL IS TRUTH---BY WALT WHITMAN

Word of the Day

2010-04-07T16:32:00.000-07:00

nodus- n: a complication or difficulty

The main nodus of the city's plan to close one of the elementary schools is how to pay for the extra busing required to transport the students out of their district.

Buttercup Festival

2010-04-07T12:37:00.000-07:00

It's not so bad at all-Matt Pond PA

2010-04-07T08:26:00.000-07:00

Graceless, falling slipping in the cold
with no one looking,
can anybody see
The whole of your decency under the snow
when you land, when you land
know all there is to know

Splinters trigger
pain inside your thumb
Don't give way to it
till the axe has swung
you're carelessly catching the strings while you play
relax, relax
Let your silence have its say

I dreamed of being alone
it's not so bad at all
alone alone
it's not so bad at all

I sleep with my clothes
I sleep with my shoes on
the sheets are twisted
getting in the way
i stare at the carpet
it's stained by the sun
come on, come on
Let this silence have its say

I dreamed of being alone
it's not so bad at all
alone, alone
it's not so bad at all

---- sleeping became useless when the thought had hit my mind

---- the markings from your socks impressing skin into design

Baby Come On --- +44

2010-04-06T10:12:00.000-07:00

She's a pretty girl. She's always falling down.
And I think I just fell in love with her,
But she won't ever remember, remember.

And I can always find her at the bottom of a plastic cup.
Drowning in drunk sincerity.
A sad and lonely girl.

Quit crying your eyes out.
Quit crying your eyes out and, Baby come on.
Isn't there something familiar about me?
The past is only the future with the lights on.
Quit crying your eyes out, Baby.

And she said,
I think we're running out of alcohol. Tonight, I hate this fucking town.
And all my best friends will be the death of me,
But they won't ever remember, remember.

So please take me far away, before I melt into the ground.
And all my words get used against me.
This sad and lonely girl.

Quit crying your eyes out.
Quit crying your eyes out and, Baby come on.
Isn't there something familiar about me?
The past is only the future with the lights on.
Quit crying your eyes out, Baby.

Quit crying your eyes out.
Quit crying your eyes out and, Baby come on.
Isn't there something familiar about me?
The past is only the future with the lights on.
Quit crying your eyes out.
Isn't there something familiar about me?
Quit crying your eyes out.
The past is only the future with the lights on.
So quit crying your eyes out, Baby.

It goes without saying

2010-04-01T09:32:00.000-07:00

It goes without saying that misery is sly
suppression can only hold so long
it will ooze through your pores
to every one's disgust
then linger in the atmosphere
til all pleasantries disappear

Today

2009-12-30T16:49:00.000-08:00

Early morning call
Missing keys…
Awkward ending
Forgotten importance
Misunderstanding
Dizzying vertigo…
Endless phone calls
Aggravation
Damn the hour
Long drive home…

a little thanks to DT

2009-11-18T15:41:00.000-08:00

This is worth posting

2009-09-16T23:01:00.000-07:00

Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"? Well, here's a prime example offered by an English professor at an American University.

"Today we will experiment with a new form of composition called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of
you will then write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph,
and so on back and forth.
Remember to reread what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking and anything you wish to say must be written on the paper. The story
is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."
The following was actually turned in by two of my English students: Rebecca -last name deleted, and Gary - last name deleted.
-------------------------------------------------------------
STORY:
(first paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The camomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier
times, that he liked camomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting
up again. So camomile was out of the question.
------------------------------------------------------
(second paragraph by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo
named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance
so far..." But before he could sign off, a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his
seat and across the cockpit.
----------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news
simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to
distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.
---------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy
peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human
race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they
swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret Mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the
coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't
allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty!
Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"
----------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
----------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have camomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F***ING
TEA??? Oh no, I'm an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels."
----------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
Asshole.
----------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
Bitch.
----------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
Wanker.
----------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
Slut.
---------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
Get f****d.
----------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
Eat s**t.
--------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
F*** YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!
----------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
Go drink some tea - whore.
************************************************** ***********
(Teacher) A+ - I really liked this one.

Buttercup Festival for the Soul

2009-09-16T22:54:00.000-07:00

To one who has been long in city pent - John Keats

2009-07-23T12:40:00.000-07:00

To one who has been long in city pent,
'Tis very sweet to look into the fair
And open face of heaven,- to breathe a prayer
Full in the smile of the blue firmament.
Who is more happy, when, with hearts content,
Fatigued he sinks into some pleasant lair
Of wavy grass, and reads a debonair
And gentle tale of love and languishment?
Returning home at evening, with an ear
Catching the notes of Philomel,- an eye
Watching the sailing cloudlet’s bright career,
He mourns that day so soon has glided by:
E’en like the passage of an angel’s tear
That falls through the clear ether silently.

His Heartbeat

2009-07-18T21:28:00.000-07:00

His heartbeat lulled me to sleep
So soft and steady
His heartbeat made me dream
about what lies ahead
His heartbeat made me so peaceful
so assured and ready
His heartbeat filled me with joy
abounding without words said

His heartbeat made me steady
when I was on the brink
His heartbeat sent me soaring
through the heavens above
His heartbeat kept me afloat
when I was about to sink
His heartbeat filled me with laughter
but more importantly love

My day "to be"

2009-07-14T09:42:00.000-07:00

Roommate interview tonight...
Nervous
Uncertain
I hope I don't lose my temper...
Amanda
Abandoned
So much more reading to do...
Knowledgeable
Tested
Food with good friends...
Delicious
Messy

2009-07-13T10:04:00.000-07:00

She told me fear is the heart of love...

2009-07-13T09:17:00.001-07:00

I still miss who we were
How it was so easy to be us
We really were the special two
Things changed so quickly
And without even noticing
We became two different people
The distance had caught up to us
Talking became a hassle
And communication was even worse
Tempers got out of hand
Confusion the key ingredient
There was no turning back

I’ve got a perfect body cause my eyelashes catch my sweat

2009-07-10T13:45:00.000-07:00

I don't want to fall into insomniatic habbits once again.
School always manages to turn me into a zombie.
So much so, I often don't want to be around myself
And I really don't know why other people would want to either.
I'm going to have to find motivation somewhere in my being
If I plan on making it through these next few hot summer months.

It's been in the 100's for the last two weeks
I'm practically a marshmallow ready for the roast
And there's no relief in sight.
The heat will take your breath away
And squinting will rarely improve your vision.
I would literally pay money for a cloudy day
Or even a raindrop or two.

For tonight I'm caught up on life
But I won't have much of a weekend.
Between homework, tidying, and begging
One or two more people to live with me
I'm swamped.

Mad Girl's Love Song by Sylvia Plath

2009-07-09T09:58:00.000-07:00

"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"

Plain Jane Monologues

Invictus - William Ernest Henly

To quote a good book...

No Man is an Island by Jack's Mannequin

Moving...again

Late To Work Today

The Walrus and The Carpenter-Lewis Carroll

Future Fears

Excerpt from Cat's Cradle

Drowsy Musings

An Excerpt from Lua by:Bright Eyes

Quote

Note To Self

For No One -by The Beatles

Only In The Past -by The Be Good Tanyas

***Word of the Day***

You Said It Will Be Easy

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My Birthplace

DIG by Incubus

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World At Large-Modest Mouse

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An Excerpt from White Houses by Vanessa Carlton

Almost Lover - A Fine Frenzy

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Excerpts from Wuthering Heights

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Santa Barbara

Wasteland- by Augustana

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This made me so happy...

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T.S. Eliot continued...

La Figlia Che Piange (the weeping girl) -T.S. Eliot

The Patterns of Me

***Word of the Day***

Soaking up some Sylvia

An Ironic Statement

Your Latest Game

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A little love from my Mom

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New Apartment

Excerpt from All Hail the Heartbreaker-Spill Canvas

The Runaways

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1 2 3

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The Realm of Feeling Free

***Word of the Day***

Drugs or Me-Jimmy Eat World

***Word of the Day***

The Endless Night

In Regards to thoughts about the TRUTH

***Word of the Day***

Buttercup Festival

It's not so bad at all-Matt Pond PA

Baby Come On --- +44

It goes without saying

Today

a little thanks to DT

This is worth posting

Buttercup Festival for the Soul

To one who has been long in city pent - John Keats

His Heartbeat

My day "to be"

She told me fear is the heart of love...

I’ve got a perfect body cause my eyelashes catch my sweat

Mad Girl's Love Song by Sylvia Plath

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