SUN BEAMS

When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand.
~Anne Morrow Lindenbergh


For a relationship to stay alive, love alone is not enough. Without imagination, love stales into sentiment, duty, boredom. Relationships fail not because we have stopped loving but because we first stopped imagining.
~James Hillman

Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it...It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.
~Erica Jong

Who Understands Me but Me?

Who Understands Me but Me?
~Jimmy Santiago Baca


They turn the water off, so I live without water,
They build walls higher, so I live without treetops,
they paint the windows black, so I live without sunshine,
they lock my cage, so I live without going anywhere,
they take each last tear I have, I live without tears,
they take my heart and rip it open, I live without heart,
they take my life and crush it, so I live without a future,
they say I am beastly and fiendish, so I have no friends,
they stop up each hope, so I have no passage out of hell,
they give me pain, so I live with pain,
they give me hate so I live with my hate,
they have changed me, and I am not the same man,
they give me no shower, so I live with my smell,
they separated me from my brothers, so I live without brothers,
who understands me when I say this is beautiful?
who understands me when I say I have found other freedoms?

I cannot fly or make something appear in my hand,
I cannot make the heavens open of the earth tremble,
I can live with myself, and I am amazed at myself, my love, my beauty
I am taken by my failures, astounded by my fears,
I am stubborn and childish,
in the midst of this wreckage of life they incurred,
I practice being myself,
and I have found parts of myself never dreamed of by me,
they were goaded out from under rocks in my heart
when the walls were built higher,
when the water was turned off and the windows painted black.
I followed these signs
like an old tracker and followed the tracks deep into myself,
followed the blood-spotted path,
deeper into dangerous regions, and found so many parts of myself,
who taught me water is not everything,
and gave me new eyes to see through walls,
and when they spoke, sunlight came out of their mouths,
and I was laughing at me with them,
we laughed like children and made pacts to always be loyal,
who understand me when I say this is beautiful?

Jai Guru Deva Om

It was said in the Beatles song "Across the Universe". Most simple translation is: "I give thanks to Guru Dev (heavenly teacher) om" Om is just a sound. However a more detailed translation is: "Jai" means "O Hail" or "Victory to" "Guru" means "Teacher" "Deva" means "God/Lord/Demi-God&q uot; "om" some say is the source of all existence that comes from vibration Note Guru Dev was a Maharishi's teacher Jai guru deva om Nothing gonna change my world Nothing gonna change my world Nothing gonna change my world Nothing gonna change my world

Flannery O' Connor

The kiss, which had more pressure than feeling behind it, produced that extra surge of adrenalin in the girl that enables one to carry a packed trunk out of a burning house, but in her, the power went at once to the brain. Even before he released her, her mind, clear and detached and ironic anyway, was regarding him from a great distance, with amusement but with pity. She had never been kissed before and she was pleased to discover that it was an unexceptional experience and all a matter of the mind's control. Some people might enjoy drain water if they were told it was vodka. When the boy, looking expectant but uncertain, pushed her gently away, she turned and walked on, saying nothing as if such business, for her, were common enough.

The Early November: Intro

A compelling or constraining influence,
such as a moral force on the mind or world,
PRESSURE.

To be undecided or skeptical,
to tend to disbelieve and distrust, to regard as unlikely,
that’s DOUBT.

The condition of being insufficient or falling short,
decline in strength or effectiveness,
FAILURE.

The instinct to run,
to back away,
or give up,
to need,
want,
reach,
steal,
the feeling to always want more,
and to take more,
the loss of breath at the sight of a car accident,
to drive by,
never being able to feel satisfied,
and to reject anyone who tries,
and this is

MY LIFE.

The Beautiful and Damned by F. Scott Fitzgerald

"Always the most poignant moments were when some artificial barrier kept them apart: in the theatre their hands would steal together, join, give and return gentle pressures through the long dark; in crowded rooms they would form words with their lips for each other’s eyes — not knowing that they were but following in the footsteps of dusty generations but comprehending dimly that if truth is the end of life happiness is a mode of it, to be cherished in its brief and tremulous moment."