It is quite a shock to wake up one morning and realize that you hate every aspect of who you are as a person.
After a slap in the face from someone who has shown you what you really look like in the mirror as opposed to how you've been viewing yourself for many months on end is no painless task.
It's a battle, it's dirty, filthy war and it seems there will be no getting out of this one.
The unfortunate feeling of betrayal...you've been lying to yourself again and it was bad...so bad.

Lying to yourself most definitely causes you to lie to everyone around you.
It's hurtful, without a doubt, and in the search for finding who you've really become, those closest to you are often trampled under your weight of lies and deceit.

I'm still trying to find the truth about myself and feel like it is the longest journey...it's as though I've been on this road forever and there's no end in sight.
My lies have trampled countless people
My insecurities have driven them away
My needs will always be left unmet
My desires will never be satiated
My heart will remain broken
My true self will never reach the surface

Yet again I'm drowning in the pool of depression I create for myself.
I can't breath, I can't eat, I can't sleep...
and to what end?
What will be my end?